The Clemstead

A place heavy with history and screaming for new thoughts.

Mag 33: Eau de Raid

“Good Lord what is going on downstairs?
[Sniff, sniff, sniff]
Boys, what’s that smell?
Answer me and stop the glares!
Someone had better answer. Well?”

“Is it coming from a spill?

Is it coming from outside?
[Sniff, cough, sniff]
Is it coming from a landfill?
Answer me or I’ll tan your hide.”

“It saturates the air;

it clogs my nose.
Was this done on a dare?
[Cough, sniff, cough]
It closes my throat.”

“You sprayed it in the hall?!

You sprayed it in every room?!”
“Daddy got it from the mall,”
they squeaked, “It's his perfume.”
[Cough, cough, cough]

Mag 32: Granular 40s

Holding on clinging to the side;

I will not fall I will not abide.

Let the grains fall to no avail;
I will stay and watch them sail.

Gravity will not take me I will cling;
Let the others soar and sing.

I want to stay up high;
Fore it’s time I want to defy.

Old Smokey or Just Old?

I just finished Zum… ba
an’ now I’m all stiff
good think I can ty… pa
an’ finish this riff.

Joined the Monkeys

For those of you who like to tell full stories head over to 'The Million Monkey' website. This writing project is free and allows you to collaborate with other's who like writing stories.

Before you can start your own story you need to do some writing and earn the right to start a story. This allows to to get used to the format and interact with the website prior to hosting a storyline yourself.

Checkout the link on the right and start reading what's there. Hope to see you over there with me.

Mag 31: Nunsensical

I do this every time, oh Lord when will I learn?

It draws me to its beauty I come to the window to view its glorious splendor and BAM!

I forget that the old oak tree has been removed and that one ray of sun reflects off of Sister Mary’s pie plate and right into my eyes. [I told her there was no need to scare off the birds from her garden this time of year.]

Now all I see is spots! When will I learn dear Lord when? If I move I may trip if I don’t someone may wonder what I am doing here.

“Oh Sister Claire… there you are. I was wondering where you had gone!”


Mag 30: A Vain Affair

“Please are you serious? Fred, come on! Get that thing off of my magazine.”

“It’s not poisoned move it yourself if you don’t like it.”

“Your apple, not mine.”

“Your magazine, not mine.”

“Precisely Fred, my magazine why would you place that apple there after biting it and letting the juice get into the magazine?”

“It was there and I needed to put it down. Look the bite mark isn’t even touching the page. You’re not going to get cooties or anything. For god’s sake Sheila you kiss me and there is spit ‘swappage’ what is the problem with this?”

“Because you’re messing up my property without a thought as to how I would like it and well… it’s a bit gross. I wouldn’t do that to your stuff I don’t understand why you’d do it to mine.”

“It’s a stupid magazine it’s not like you’re going to find anything in that magazine that will miraculously take off inches from those thighs or yours. Clothing is just an illusion to hide what you’re not willing to work off.”

“Fred… Are you saying that you haven’t gained weight either?”

“Nope still the same size I was in high school. If you don’t believe me go take a look at my pants over there. I just got them from Old Navy the other day.”

Sheila starts to giggle. “Fred… you have been suckered into vanity sizing. You’re size 36” pants is actually… <> 41 inches. So get that blessed apple off of my fashion magazine and I suggest you do a few sit-ups while you finish it.”

Mag 29: Flutter and Flitter

“It’s your turn”

“Why me?”

“Because if that little brat inside that house bangs on that window one more time I’m going to have a heart attack.” Flutter whined.

“You’re too high strung.”

“You’re my nest mate you should know that one.”

“OK only one more time I hate messing with such good nectar and throwing it up just so you can feed your face.”

“Flitter, once the kids goes away I’ll go myself. You wouldn’t want your brother to starve do you? Don’t you remember when the reflection got me and I was trying to feed from the glass? That cleaning solution and those crows were just nasty.”

“Flutter, I have the same bad eyesight you do. Like I said once more and that is it.”
Flitter leaves

“Shoot for the red, Flit!”

About Me

My photo
I come from German (Mennonite/Brethren) stock with bits of Norse, Celtic, Native American, and some mysterious unknown combination from an adopted grandparent. Not an uncommon blend for most of us who settled early in Pennsylvania. This type of diverse heritage left me ripe for the genealogical bug. I make a pilgrimage once a month and attempt to trace all the branches of my family tree. Unearthing facts that were never documented previously always brings excitement.

Nakoah is following...

  • Mag 312 - photo by Tom Chambers
    2 years ago
  • - Please help me to identify this photo. I think it was taken somewhere in the U.K. in the 1930's. Has anyone ever seen the mural? Is it a public building?
    7 years ago
  • far - *Rivertown, Nepal* Far is the sound a phone makes as you press your ear tighter to the receiver trying to capture any syllable that slips through the stati...
    1 year ago

Picture of the Month

Picture of the Month
Harvest Time


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